I am free to choose my own path
Monday Musings
Here’s your mantra for the week! This week’s card is from my The Sovereign Success Oracle deck. You can get it here or here.
Choosing our own path is hard. If there is a way we can choose our own path without inevitably disappointing others, I have yet to find it. In fact, I think that’s why choosing my own path might have been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Or, rather, the hardest thing I have to keep doing. Because choosing our own path is rarely a one-and-done deal.
In March, I wrote that not everyone’s path looks straightforward. A lot of us are dealing with paths that are long and winding, that have curves and bends we didn’t see coming or bumps we didn’t expect.
And that’s OK, because we’re not always supposed to know exactly what’s ahead of us. But, the thing about not being able to see too far ahead is that, when we actively choose our own path, what we might have committed to is just the very first part of it, the part we can see most clearly.
Even if we have a clear visual of where we’re supposed to end up and we have no problem choosing that particular end goal, we might not see too clearly how we’re going to get there. But to get there, we also have to choose the path, with its curves, bends, bumps, inclines, and declines.
I am definitely on a path like that, and each time I reach one of those inevitable corners, or get to see more of what’s ahead for me, I have to remind myself that I am indeed free to choose my own path, even if the next step on my journey is going to disappoint the people I love even more. Or, as Glennon Doyle would probably say, especially if it’s going to disappoint these people.
For those who aren’t familiar with that reference, it’s part of a conversation Glennon had with her daughter Tish, which she shares in ‘Talks’, one of the stories in Untamed.
Tish: Chase wants me to join the same club he joined in middle school. I don’t want to.
Me: So don’t.
Tish: But I don’t want to disappoint him.
Me: Listen. Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.
Tish: Even you?
Me: Especially me.
Needless to say, reading this particular snippet – being reminded that, when we don’t disappoint others, we inevitably disappoint ourselves – was a game-changer for me. It’s why I became more comfortable walking my own path, and why I freak out less these days when I, once again, am faced with the choice whether I’m choosing the next stretch of my path as well.
That doesn’t mean choosing my own path has become second nature. If only. I still have to remind myself regularly that I am free to do so and that it is my duty, my sacred duty, to avoid disappointing myself by disappointing others. After all, it’s terribly hard – and incredibly empowering – to unlearn something that we’ve been brought up on.
It does get easier, the more often I choose myself. Maybe, one day, it will come naturally. I can’t wait.
Happy creating this week, and happy choosing yourself over and over <3
xx Mariëlle
P.S. If this is something you’re struggling with too, I’ve created a guided visualisation to help you clear your path from the negative energy of anyone who’s ever tried to influence you and your direction in life. You can find it below.
I am free to choose my own path, a guided visualisation
Make sure you’re in a comfortable position. If you like to, you can close your eyes. If not, relax your gaze.
Focus on your breath. With your next inhale, visualise how healing, nurturing earth energy is entering your body through the soles of your feet. Keep breathing in this earth energy until it reaches the very bottom of your spine. Notice how, now it’s reached your root chakra, the energy is turning a warm red.
Breathe in this red energy. With every exhale, release any blocks you might have in this area of your body. Any fears you might be feeling, whether old or new.
Once this area is cleared, allow the earth energy to move upwards, to the spot two inches below your navel. Notice how, not it’s reached your sacral chakra, the energy has turned a bright orange.
Breathe in this orange energy. With every exhale, release any blocks you might have in this area of your body. Any feelings of guilt you might be harbouring, whether old or new.
Once the area around your sacrum is cleared, allow the earth energy to move upwards, to the spot two inches above your navel. Notice how, not it’s reaching your solar plexus chakra, the energy is turning a vivid yellow.
Breathe in this yellow energy. With every exhale, release any blocks you might have in this area of your body. Any feelings of shame you might have, whether old or new.
Once this area is cleared, allow the earth energy to move upwards once more, to your chest. Notice how, not it’s reached your heart chakra, the energy has turned a soothing green.
Breathe in this green energy. With every exhale, release any blocks you might have in this area of your body. Any feelings of grief, of hurt, you might be holding on to, whether old or new.
Once your chest is cleared, breathe in the life-giving energy of the cosmos through the crown of your head. Visualise how this cosmic crystal white light turns violet once it reaches your crown.
Breathe in this violet energy. With every exhale, release any blocks you might have in this area of your body. Any attachment you might be clinging to, whether old or new.
Once your crown chakra is cleared, allow the cosmic energy to move downwards, to where your third eye is located. Notice how, not it’s reached your third eye chakra, the energy is turning a dark, indigo blue.
Breathe in this indigo blue energy. With every exhale, release any blocks you might have in this area of your body. Any illusions you might have, about the world, about yourself, about others, whether old or new.
Once this spot between your eyebrows is cleared, allow the cosmic energy to move downwards again, to your throat. Notice how, not it’s reached your throat chakra, the dark, indigo blue energy turns a sky blue.
Breathe in this sky-blue energy. With every exhale, release any blocks you might have in this area of your body. Any lies you might be telling or believing in, whether old or new.
Once your throat is cleared, allow the cosmic energy to move downwards once more, to your chest. Notice how, not it’s reached your heart chakra, the energy has turned the same soothing green as the earth energy still present within your heart.
Breathe in this green energy. With every exhale, allow the cosmic energy you’ve breathed in through the crown of your head with the earth energy you’ve breathed in through the soles of your feet.
Now, place your hands on your heart and imagine yourself sitting in a clearing in a verdant forest. Take in the trees surrounding you, the plants, the shrubs. Smell in that wonderful forest air, clean and crisp.
As you look around yourself, you notice that there a couple of paths and trails leading away from the clearing. Some are wide and clear, while others are almost entirely overgrown.
You stand up and, with both hands on your heart, you close your eyes and breathe in deeply. One of these trails, one of these paths, is yours. As you breathe out, you allow yourself to be pulled towards it, your eyes still closed. You allow yourself be guided by your heart.
Once you know you’ve reached your path, your trail, I invite you to open your eyes and take it in. How wide or narrow is it? Does it curve or does it look more or less straight? How far ahead can you see?
Now, notice how many trees are growing on your path. How many trees are in the middle of your path, making it harder to navigate it? How many tree roots are trying to trip you up? How many trees are making it impossible for you to see too far ahead because their trunks are so thick, you can’t look past them?
Each tree that’s growing in the middle of your path here is someone or something that’s in your way. They are the people who make you doubt yourself, the obstacles you envision when you allow yourself to dream.
They are the people who told you, you shouldn’t we wanting this for yourself, and those who told you you’d never make it. They are the people who don’t believe in you, and the people who are desperate to keep you small.
They are the obstacles you were made to believe in, the lies that you were fed, that you are now feeding yourself. They are the obstacles you were told to be afraid of, the names you were called when you dared to share your deepest, wildest desires.
Now, hold up your preferred hand and ask for a tool that’ll help you cut these trees down. This can be a bow saw, an axe, a chainsaw, or whatever tool you prefer. Maybe you want to call up something like a laser beam, or even one of those giant tree chopping machines. One by one, visualise how you’re cutting these trees down all the way, pulling out their roots while you’re at it, until there’s nothing left, depositing whatever you cut up as far away from your path as you can.
Once you’re done, and your path is clear, invite the rain to wash it all away. Tilt your head back and revel in the feeling of being cleansed in and out. You, your path, your destination.
Whatever harmful energetic cords existed between you and those who’ve negatively affected how you relate to your path, to your dreams and desires, and the decisions you made or have to make around these, are now gone.
As the rain lets up, the sun starts peaking through the clouds, driving them away. Spread your arms and allow the warm beams to dry you up. Taking a deep breath, step onto the path. Your path. You don’t have to walk far; you just have to enter it.
Once you’ve found yourself a good spot to sit down, lower yourself to the ground. Take one more look around, and one more deep breath, and then close your eyes, knowing that your path is clear for now.
On the next in-breath, allow yourself to return to the room you’re in. Wriggle your fingers and toes, stretch your limbs, and, slowly, if you had them closed, open your eyes.
If you feel so inclined, grab your journal and write what came up for you during this meditation.
How you can show up for me so I can keep showing up for you
Across the internet, I share lots of free content and many tools that help people on their creative journeys. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time or money to create as much content as I would like.
Besides, bills need to be paid, so there are times I need to prioritise the day job (my editing and coaching work) over content creation and making your creative lives better.
But you can change this!
With your support, I can continue to:
write my Monday Musings on living a creative life
audiorecord said musings for Illuminate | Musings and Meditations for the Creative Soul to make them more accessible
post weekly tarot spreads for creatives on Instagram
podcast on how to create a sustainable writing career from your heart and soul on Diving into Writing
interview fellow creatives every week so we can learn about their highs, lows, and how they keep creating
create free tools, record meditations, and write books that help creatives on their path to reaching their fullest potential
What’s more, with your support I could develop and chase new ideas and make even more beneficial tools for you and other creatives. One day, if I receive enough support, I might even be able to create exclusive content just for you.
How to support me
Substack — Substack is a subscription-based platform, so you can support me right here by becoming a paid subscriber. As a paid subscriber, you’ll join my Reiki Healing Circle, which means I’ll send you a daily dose of distant Reiki until the day you cancel your paid subscription.
As a founding member, you’ll also get 15% off everything in my webshop.
Patreon — In May, I breathed new life into my Patreon page. Here, I offer four different membership tiers with the following benefits:
€5 a month — become a member of my daily Reiki Healing Circle
€10 a month — become a member of my daily Reiki Healing Circle and get 10% off everything in my webshop
€15 a month — become a member of my daily Reiki Healing Circle and get 15% off everything in my webshop
€20 a month — become a member of my daily Reiki Healing Circle and get 20% off everything in my webshop
All my future courses, classes, and workshops will be offered in my webshop, so you’ll get a discount on these too.
Just think about it. I’d love to bring you into my Reiki fold <3
"Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself." That is incredibly powerful, as is the meditation you shared. Thank you so much!