You deserve all of it and more
Monday Musings
Here’s your mantra for the week! This week’s card is from my Cards for Creative Courage oracle deck, which you can get it here or here.
Worthiness. Self-worth. (Not) Knowing your worth. It’s one of the themes that keep coming up, both in my personal life and the (creative) lives of those I coach.
Who am I take time away from my other duties so I can be creative?
Who am I to charge this much for what I’ve created?
Who am I to speak my truth into this world?
Why is this? Why are so many of us struggling with our own sense of worth? With that ‘Who am I to…’ question? Honestly, I think it has a lot to do with how parents, for the longest time, thought that children had to be put in their place, whatever that place looked like within their specific family and society.
And children don’t do societal moulds well. There’s a reason ‘to mould’ is an active verb: none of the structures we are expected to live by come naturally to us. We have to be taught these rules of society, which tells us everything we need to know.
We’re taught to act normal. To want less. To want different things from what we truly desire. To behave in certain ways. To want certain careers. To want to perpetuate the blueprint our parents tried to live by, and their parents before them.
Obviously, these moulds aren’t static. We have a lot more freedom than our parents had, and they had more freedom than theirs (even though these hard-won freedoms are under attack right now). But that doesn’t change the underlying beliefs and systems, the core of that blueprint.
The only blueprint children are concerned with is that of their soul. This is before they are conditioned otherwise, when they still have that direct link to something beyond themselves (the Divine, Source, God, Goddess, the Universe, take your pick) and easily allow themselves to be awed by the beauty that is life, which includes themselves.
To make our way back to that original blueprint, the one that our soul came up with before we incarnated into this lifetime, we have a lot to unlearn. Our soul knows we’re worthy, that we are more than enough, and that what we came here to bring into this world is as beautiful and awe-inspiring as we ourselves are. And, underneath layers of conditioning and shaming, our incarnated selves know this too.
Once we begin remembering that we knew this about ourselves once (and yes, for those familiar with the work of Bracha Ettinger, I, too, was reminded of her ‘I remember that I do not remember anymore’ while writing this piece), we can start rebuilding that bridge between our current selves and who we are on a soul level.
I’ve struggled with plenty of ‘Who am I to…’ questions myself. Over the years, I’ve gradually been moving towards a place of deep inner knowing that, yes, I am worthy. Which isn’t to say I’m at the end of that journey yet, or that I’m not triggered once in a while, especially when it involves asking for money.
On good days, I know my time is valuable, my insights are valuable, what I bring to this world is valuable, and that it’s more than OK for money to be part of that energy exchange. After all, I have to pay bills and feed myself (and my cats!) like any other human being.
On less than good days, asking for what I’m worth trips me up like nothing else. I’m currently raising my subscription fees (both here on Illuminate and those of my Akashic Creative Coaching meditation circle), and I’m finding it hard, especially since I’m doing the work already anyway. Why ask more for something I’d do even if I didn’t get paid (enough) for it?
Well. Because I’m worth it. And because it isn’t the craziest thing to want all the work I’m doing towards healing the world and healing humanity to be supported. Financially. Although I wouldn’t say no to someone bringing me dinner every day either *looks around for volunteers*
Which is exactly why I decided to raise those fees. Which doesn’t make it less hard (part of me is still convinced it’ll cost me readers and subscribers, and it’s taking me a lot to trust the Universe that taking care of myself in this way will be worth it in the end).
Because I know how hard it is not just to acknowledge our worth but also come up with prices, fees, or rates that are both fair to our customers/clients and ourselves – wouldn’t it be absolutely wonderful if we could just know our inherent worth without having to double-check elsewhere? – here are some different sources I rely on when checking my worth and coming up with (new) rates.
And yes, I often cross-check against these different sources too, because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t need at least triple proof that I’m doing the right thing for me here ;)
Asking the Akashic Records
If you know how to read your own Akashic Records (which is something everyone can learn for themselves, for example by doing Josephine Hardman’s free mini course), this is a great place to ask which prices are currently most aligned with you and where you are on your creative journey.
Working with the Akashic Records is a skill that needs training, so don’t expect a clear answer the first time you enter your own. I’ve been reading my own Records for six years now, and I still need to make sure I’m grounded and centred before venturing in. And even then, I don’t always get the answers I’m looking for, either because I’m not supposed to know the answer yet or because I’m not asking the right questions.
Working with the Akashic Records is all about phrasing clear, coherent, and powerful questions, so if this is something you want to try, consider asking something like:
Why am I feeling the need to raise my prices?
What is stopping me from raising my prices?
What price is currently most aligned with me?
What needs to be healed or released within me to make me feel comfortable asking the prices that feel currently aligned with me?
How are my current prices limiting me?
How are my current prices limiting others?
How will raising my prices serve me?
How will raising my prices serve others?
Playing with your pendulum
Sometimes, my Records give me a clear answer, and sometimes they don’t. Regardless of how clear the Records are about what they want me to ask (which I hardly ever agree with because they tend to suggest a much higher price point than I’m comfortable with – I should really ask that fourth question I listed earlier…), I tend to consult my pendulum too.
I mean, I even included a pendulum chart for figuring out whether the price you’re thinking of is right, too low, or too high in Tarot for Entrepreneurs, that’s how often I use a pendulum for these kinds of questions.
To dowse with a pendulum, all you need is a necklace with a pendant (or a piece of string and a ring). The only reason I own an actual pendulum these days is because free pendulums were unlocked during a Kickstarter project I backed a while ago; before that, I used a drilled amethyst point with a piece of string.
To start, hold your (makeshift) pendulum above a flat surface and ask the following questions:
What is ‘Yes’?
What is ‘No’?
What is ‘I don’t know’?
What is ‘Rephrase the question’?
Each time, take note which direction your pendulum swings. If your pendulum doesn’t move at all, take a couple of deep breaths to ground yourself. Then try again.
If you want to make sure whether your pendulum works properly, you can ask a question that has an easy ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer, like: Do I own a cat named Robert? Is my hair dyed pink? Am I thirty-eight years old?
Once you’re happy your pendulum is working as it should, start asking about the price you want to ask: ‘Is X [the amount] the best price for Y [the thing you’re pricing] right now?’
If the pendulum says ‘Yes’, you’re done! If it says ‘No’, ask: ‘Should I ask more than X [the amount you just asked about]?’
If the pendulum says ‘Yes’, up the price you mentioned in the first question and try again. If the answer is ‘No’, ask: ‘Should I ask less than X [the amount you just asked about]?’
If the pendulum says ‘Yes’, lower the price you mentioned in the first question and try again. If the answer is ‘No’, this might not be the right time to put what you’ve created on the market, which is also something you can ask your pendulum about. The same goes for when your pendulum answers with a ‘I don’t know’.
Asking the right friends
Once my pendulum has given me the prices that are most aligned with me right now, I tend to run it by one of my friends. By now, I know exactly who to ask these kinds of questions to, but it took me a while to get there, and this is why:
When it comes to these questions, what you need is someone who’s on the same wavelength as you. What that means is that you don’t ask someone who values money radically different than you, or someone who would never buy what you’re creating (of, only buys what you’re creating because they want to be a supportive friend).
They also need to be a friend with the ability to think things through and take into account who and what’s involved in bringing your creation about, not someone who’s purpose in your life is just to cheer you on. We need those too, but if we’re looking for prices that are realistic and fair to everyone involved, asking someone who keeps shouting we’re amazing and that what we’re doing is priceless doesn’t get us anywhere. A friend who helps us ask the right questions, who keeps us honest, and who reminds us of our true worth, that’s someone we can bring these questions to.
I hope this will prove helpful, and that it’ll make it a wee bit easier for you to set the right prices for the work you’re creating <3
Let me know how you get on?
xx Mariëlle
Last day to subscribe to my Akashic Creative Coaching meditation circle for the old fees!
As already mentioned in the post, my fees for my Akashic Creative Coaching meditation circle are going up, and they’re going up tomorrow (1 July).
These rising fees do not affect current paying members of the circle, nor those who subscribe by the end of today: you’ll keep paying the old fees until you unsubscribe.
Here’s an overview of what’s changing:
Current fees, until 30 June:
Membership: €25/month or €269/year
Group discount*: 25%
Single ticket: €25
Fees per 1 July:
Membership: €55/month or €600/year
Group discount*: 15%
Single ticket: €35
* A group discount applies when you subscribe with two or more people at the same time. For as long as you and those you signed up with stay subscribed, you’ll receive the percentage mentioned off fees.
If you’re on the fence because you have no clue what I’m like as a meditation guide and what a guided meditation into the Akashic Records with me is like, you can listen to my free ‘Introducing the Akashic Records and finding our creative purpose’ meditation here.
You can also listen on Spotify or the Insight Timer meditation app.