You're allowed to go after what you want

Monday Musings

Here’s your mantra for the week! This week’s card is from my The Sovereign Success Oracle deck. You can get it here or here.

---

Allowing myself to go after what I want was a process. Is a process, I should say. Because the older I get and the further I expand, the more I want for myself. And the more I want, the more I have to deal with the fact that there are people out there who wish I didn’t want this much for myself.

I have long stopped not doing things because of others, but knowing that there are people – people important to me – who think they can both love me and want to keep me from fulfilling my highest potential still slows me down. It makes me ignore my dreams and desires for longer than I probably should. This way, I don’t have to tell said people what’s next for me yet.

Is this healthy behaviour? Not particularly, but like I said: it’s a process, and it beats not going after what I want at all, which used to be my modus operandi. I do get there, just not as fast as I might have otherwise. And I get there faster each time, so I don’t think it’ll be much of an issue in the future.

---

---

Today’s card – I am allowed to go after what I want – is a wonderful affirmation or mantra if you struggle with unapologetically chasing after your heart’s desires, too. But what if you don’t know what you want yet? What if you haven’t gotten to that point where your dreams, what you know in your heart you want for yourself, are obvious and hard to ignore?

What if you’re struggling to hear your own dreams and desires over those that others have for you?

If that’s you, then the guided visualisation below was created for you. I didn’t have time to record the audio version of it yet, so for now words on the page will have to do.

I wish you a beautiful week with lots of creating,

Mariëlle

Make sure you’re in a comfortable position. If you like, you can close your eyes. If not, relax your gaze.

Focus on your breath. For a couple of rounds, breathe in deeply through your nose, hold your breath at the top, and exhale slowly through your mouth. Once you feel more settled and grounded, breathe in and out through your nose in a rhythm that’s comfortable to you right now.

If there is any tension in your body, bring your attention and your breath towards it. On the inbreath, imagine how your breath embraces the tension. On the outbreath, allow this tension to lessen. Repeat this for as long as you need.

Place your hands on your heart and imagine a bright, vibrant green light at the centre of your chest, no bigger than a pin prick. With every inhale, that green light grows a little bigger. With every exhale, it pulses slightly. The next time you inhale, it’s the size of a marble, and the next time, that of a golf ball.

Slowly, the growing light begins to resemble a sphere that expands beyond your ribcage. By now, the green light has reached beyond your throat chakra and has completely enveloped your sacral and solar plexus chakras. With every breath in, it keeps growing. With every breath out, it pulses. Allow the green light to reach each and every one of your cells as it expands beyond your physical body, until it has created a sphere of perfect pulsing green light all around you.

This pulsing green light surrounding you is your heart energy. As you continue breathing in and out through your nose, the outer edges of the sphere begin to solidify. The energy still pulses, but those outer edges are turning into smooth crystal, creating a solid barrier between you and the world around you. Inside this sphere, you are all there is. There is nothing else. No one and no thing is more important within this sphere of green light than you. No one and no thing is more important within this sphere than you listening to the beating of your own heart.

How are you feeling right now? Are you comfortable within this sphere? Does it make you feel calm? Or are you anxious? Nervous? Uncomfortable?

Whatever comes up, breathe in the green heart energy surrounding you and breathe out any feelings, emotions, sensations that do not serve you in this moment. Breathe in the green energy, and breathe out anything and everything that doesn’t belong to you. Let all of it be absorbed by the green light you enveloped yourself in, and let it be transmuted into something – feelings, emotions, sensations, thoughts, energy – that will benefit you in this moment.

Now ask yourself:

What do others seem to want from me? What do others seem to want for me?

None of them are here in this sphere you’ve created for yourself, so you can answer these questions honestly. What do others want from you? And what do they want for you?

You don’t have to judge or feel anything about what shows up. You only have to sit with it. If you want, you can pause here and write down the answers you’re receiving.

Now ask yourself:

What do I want for myself? When it’s just me, what do I want? And what do I want from myself? What do I expect? What have I been expecting of myself?

Again, don’t judge what comes up. That’s not what you’re here for.

Then ask yourself:

What does my heart want from me? And what does my heart want for me? What are my heart’s deepest desires? What has it been dreaming of? What does it want me to do? Who does it want me to be?

Once you’ve heard and received all the answers you are given, ask your heart if there’s anything else you need to know right now. Does it have any messages it wants you to hear?

If not, that’s OK. Maybe all your heart needed to tell you today has already been said. If yes, take a moment to write them down.

Place your hands on your heart again. Keep inhaling that green heart energy. On your next exhale, the outer edges of the sphere around you begin to soften. On every exhale, the smooth crystal surrounding the sphere softens more. Decide: Do you want to draw your heart energy closer to your chest or do you want to keep the circle of energy you’ve created around yourself? You can also decide to make it even bigger.

Once your sphere of green light is your preferred size, wiggle your toes and fingers, then stretch your arms and legs. Slowly, open your eyes and take in the room you’re in. If you haven’t started writing down what came up for you during this visualisation, this is a good time to grab your journal.

---

Speaking of hearts… This guided visualitation is based on some of the questions that make up my Listen to Your Heart tarot challenge. If you haven’t backed the Kickstarter campaign yet, there’s still time!

Your heart knows what it wants, but do you?

This special Kickstarter edition of Listen to Your Heart: A 31-Day Tarot Challenge to Embrace and Follow your Wildest Dreams and Desires is designed to help you figure out just that.

In my sixth tarot challenge, I invite you to sit with your heart for thirty-one days to unravel:

• where you’ve been listening to your heart and where you haven’t,

• how your heart relates to your body, mind, and soul,

• how these relationships can be improved on, and

• what your heart truly wants of and for you, now and in the future.

If you’re ready to start listening to your heart and embrace the path it so wants to lead you towards, Listen to Your Heart is the perfect tool for you. 

The campaign for Listen to Your Heart runs until the 21st of March.